11-02-2002 | 1:25 p.m.

It's been kind of difficult for me to write here, since Diary Survivor 4 started. If anyone wants to slam me, go ahead.

First I must say that while giving out candy on Halloween, the award for freakiest costume went to the "vampire girl-scout." Really, she had on her green vest with all the badges and vampire makeup on. I had to give her extra candy.

The past week has been more insane than usual. My brother showed up here Monday night. Now, if he lived a few towns over it wouldn't be questionable. However, it's a 2 hour drive from there to here. When I heard his voice I got nervous. He said he just wanted to "sneak attack" us to say hi. Hmmm, yeah okay. After 2 days, I finally asked him what the deal was. George "thinks" he lost his job and is trying to get it back. Well, if you don't show up for a week and don't even call your boss, what would you expect? He owed his landlord back rent. My Mom wrote a check for $400.00 made out directly to the landlord at least. Then Georgie left. No word from him since Wednesday. I have no clue what him and his girlfriend will do once the baby is born - which should be in a few weeks. Side note: the baby is a boy and they're naming him, George Edward (insert overly Irish last name here) the fourth (sorry, after roman numeral III, I'm clueless.) Isn't that cool? The infamous name lives on.

So now, my Step-Dad is beyond pissed off. I think he has a vendetta against the so called "children" from my Mom's first marriage - that would be George and me. "They're both fucked up like their father." Step-Dad wants nothing to do with George and has been badmouthing him and my Dad. Meanwhile, Step-Dad has been pissy to me. Criticizing everything I do. Cursing at me under his breath when I'm leaving the house. The ole evil eye. You know all that fun stuff.

This leads me to believe that I will be "evicted" soon. Either that or I'll be so fed up that I'll just take off. Where I'll go, no clue.

As I get the impression that Step-Dad thinks I do nothing, I wonder if he's even home enough to see how I do help with my younger brother and sister. They cling to me, because their parents are too "busy" to deal with "that bullshit." Sure, they provide the necessities for their children: food, clothes and shelter. Still, I help my sister with her homework every day after school. I read to her every night. Take her for walks. Play video games and watch TV with my brother. Take care of the family pets (whoever said that cats were low maintenance needs a bitch-slap.) Stay with them when Mom and Step-Dad "run errands" (read: go out to dinner and the bar down the street.) The kids just want a little attention. I guess that is not enough to warrant me staying here though.

I'm just trying to maintain some degree of sanity now. If I do get booted from here, I'll try to post before I leave.

Also, if I owe you an email response, please don't think I'm ignoring you. I'm trying to get online as much as possible.