3-23-2001 | 5:04 p.m.

I finally bought that book, "Imbroglio", that my therapist recommended. The title - the definition of imbroglio is: an intricate or complicated situation.

Opening up the book nervously, I first read the inside sleeve. First paragraph:
"Borderline Personality Disorder is an extremely complicated, serious psychiatric illness. Inordinately painful and often intractable, it features a pervasive pattern of instability of emotions, behavior, relationships and self-image. The illness carries a stigma within the psychiatric profession."

Basically, many psychiatrists/psychologists refuse to treat Borderlines. They see them as manipulative and difficult or even impossible to treat.

What is a 'Personality Disorder'?
A personality disorder consists of inherent inappropriate patterns of perceiving, thinking and relating to others that cripple a person's functioning and can cause great suffering.

Borderline Personality can be the underlying cause of addiction, eating disorders, rage, anxiety, depression....the list goes on. And it's been known that (skilled) psychologists and psychiatrists know a patient is a Borderline from the moment they walk into the room. I asked my new therapist about this. Her answer: "I had an inkling after a few minutes speaking with you."

And the more I read the more pissed off I get.

Now I understand why the suicide rate among Borderlines is so high.

Sucky entry huh? More like a psych lesson than an entry. But I needed to get this out somehow. I'm just so frustrated. I'll write another entry soon. About the Xanax and all that which I can't talk about right now.