10-26-2002 | 5:21 p.m.

I will never call anyone after taking Xanax again. Repeat ten times.

Anyway, my brother may or may not have lost his job after being "missing" for 5 days. My Mom was pacing/stomping around the house all week; "He could be dead somewhere!" How considerate of her to say that in front of her 9 year old daughter. I spent every night reading "Harry Potter" books and watching TV with my sister. And you know what? My Mom is milking this Lyme Disease and "my son could be dead" for all the attention she can get.

My brother's landlord stormed his apartment demanding the last 2 months' rent. Supposedly they worked out a "payment plan." I'm done being sympathetic about his possible drug use.

But then people I met while in rehab have suddenly become great company again. I'm so smart. Love me.