2-6-2002 | 2:50 a.m.

So, I'm washing towels and blankets at 1:30 a.m. I just went to the laundry room and opened the dryer to see if, well, everything was dry. It was so warm in there, so I sat on the floor and stuck my head in the dryer - resting on the warm and oh so fresh towels. Damn, I wanted to scrunch my whole body in there. I closed my eyes for a minute, and felt something on my back, and then something on my head. I opened my eyes, turned my head and finally realized what it was. The shiny-kitten cat had used me as a ramp to jump into the dryer. So now he's all curled up beside my head in the clothes dryer. I'm sure it looked either really cute or scary.

My brain is overloaded with this Diary Survivor stuff. I cannot look at another diary tonight and don't even want to think about judging. Maybe I won't judge. Maybe I'll just set up the Immunity Challenges and Tribal Councils.

I went to the grocery store tonight and as usual the shy teen clerk looked at my purchases, than at me and made some kind of weird face. The only food items were around 10 of those "Campbell's Soup to Go" things; one bagel; and two of those Quaker Oatmeal instant oatmeal (baked apple), one serving microwave cup deals. Plus a case of 12 S'sips juice boxes and a pack of Starburst.

And I spent $75.00! I went crazy with the cleaning supplies, because I'm back in my "germ freak" phase. What was the rest? I'm not really sure. Cat food? 3 boxes of tea and that powdered non-dairy creamer stuff. I don't know.

But the point is, I usually get the same guy at the same register and the food portion of my purchase is always the same. Unless I splurge on some Pop-Tarts. He probably thinks I starve myself or maybe I'm just freak.

Food sucks. I know you need it to stay not-dead. But you walk into a grocery store and there are cakes, cookies, chips and other crappy artery hardening foods. It's really starting to get to me. I have to look at the fat and calorie content of everything, and then I end up buying everything in single serving mircowavable portions. This is so I won't eat more than one serving or whatever. But I feel horrible, because I'm looking at other peoples' carts in shock as I see piles of frozen pizzas and donuts and doritos. I even imagine telling them to put that crap back.

Food is evil. And I cannot believe I am owning up to this.