11-11-2002 | 3:28 p.m.

The siblings have no school today and Mom had no work, so she actually took them out. I am shocked. No kid watching today, yay.

I still have no idea what the deal is. One day, my evil step-dad is asking me to pack my stuff so my brother and his girlfriend can move in. The next, my Mom is like, "You are NOT leaving. Who will take care of my darling children?"

I thought I had a stay of execution until after the holidays, so I went out and bought my younger brother and sister a Nintendo Gamecube. Then I had to buy 3 controllers, a memory card and some thing to hook the system up to the cable box. Everyone else in the family promised to buy the games. I have been surviving on pop-tarts.

Where oh where will I go? I'm not worried. I'll stay with friends until I can get my own place again. Not Chris though. He is insane and needs help badly. We went to a local bar/restaurant Saturday night. The owner sent a vodka and coke over to me. I guess he remembered from my last drunken adventure with my pally Emily a few weeks ago. I don't want to talk about it, still way too painful. sob. ha.

So, even though Chris and I have been friends for over 5 years and there has been no other intentions expressed, he freaks out when anyone even talks to me. "Oh, I know him. He's trouble. Don't get involved. blah blah blah."

I had a few more drinks. Chris started on his usual tirade. "You are so mean. You aren't my friend anymore. I hate you." I got all bitchy and told him to drive me home. When we pull in the driveway. "Can I come in and play some Goldeneye?" Nooooooo. "Are you even going to give me a hug?" Nooooo. What happened the last time I hugged him?

New Years Eve, I gave him a hug when we left a party. He called 3 hours later and started babbling. "You only hugged me because you were drunk. You're only nice when you're drunk." I know. Shut the fuck up.

So back to Saturday night. I told Chris that I was very tired and didn't feel well because of this killer sinus infection which my doctor gave me some weird opiate pain killers for. Yeah. That doctor is sweet. I finally got Chris to shut up and let me out of the car. Then I called Doug. I was only a little tipsy. I'm sure I sounded like a lush. Go meeee! I am going to add extra letters to certain words from now on.

Chris is a psycho and I will not play games with him anymore.

I am very happy with my stuff packed in boxes waiting to hear if I have to leave. Kitti offered to take me in. Your are too sweet. Thank you.

My brother asked me to be Godmother to his soon to be born son. I said, "Hmmm...I guess so." I don't know about all that church stuff. I only made it to the first communion deal. Can I even be a Godmother? Will there be a super secret ceremony where I am dunked into a river or something? Do they check your background and see, "You did not make your confirmation. You are divorced. Sinner!"

I know this a long entry that makes no sense, but I will blame everything on the opiates. If I am naughty and flirt with you, it is because of these nice pills. Now I'm off to cook some Ramen Noodles and cry. Speak to you soon.

P.S. I am not dating someone named Greg. If one more person asks me who Greg is, I will throw a hissy fit. If you look on my YahooID page, I list Greg Buis as one of my so-called "interests." The gregskitten thing was a lame joke and if you did not watch the first Survivor you won’t get it. I refuse to register another account with the evil Yahoo, so I kept the ID. I do not have a boyfriend. The position is now open. If you would like to apply sign the guestbook. Disclaimer: It is a thankless job where you will be mocked and ignored, except during sex, of course. I will not be responsible for any emotional damage I may inflict. Thank you.