7-22-2001 | 11:22 p.m.

I love Noodles.

A mega thank you to the beautiful and talented bonkrood for the kick-ass new layout!

The visit with my Dad was amazing. I thought it would be uncomfortable. Like I wouldn't know what to say. But it's like we've reformed a bond. My Dad is a real sporty guy. So, I went rock-climbing, fishing. Played baseball. Raced a go-cart. Man, you should have seen me! My brother spent a few days with us as well. Dad even included my younger sibs. He's not their father but Patrick & Chrissy love him. He was the way I remember him, before the divorce and drinking/drugs. Kind, funny, patient, loving. I don't remember the last time I felt so....yes, happy. Scary huh? Dad is going to visit again next month. I have a father again.

And then Biker-Dude Phil was here for a few days. I figured he wanted to visit with Step-Dad. Nope. After everyone else went to sleep, Phil & I talked and drank (uh-huh) and he told me that he really wanted to see me. Of course I was freaked out so I drank more and popped a few Xanax. I am such a drunken whore. Not really...oooh a good old fashioned make out session though, which I regret because now the guy thinks we're dating or something. No way. No way! And now he wants to visit again. What a mess.

Drunken-Neighbor Jeff was here Friday night. He was wasted as always. I was wearing my ultra comfy jeans and he saw that the knee area of one leg was torn a bit. So he grabs onto my jeans and tried to rip them off of me! Then he tries to steal my socks, off of my feet. I pushed him on the ground and wrestling ensued. And even though I'm small I kicked his ass because he was so drunk. Then I painted his nails pink since he was only semi-conscious. And I heard the suicidal cat story again: A few years ago Jeff had a cat. The cat had a 'best friend' cat that lived next door. So, when the neighbors moved Jeff's cat was so depressed that it committed suicide by jumping in front of a car. He says this has to be true because the cat always looked both ways before crossing the street usually.

I couldn't help but laugh. Then I was like, "Why didn't you see the warning signs?" I know, I'm evil.

All right, I have bug bites all over my legs from the fishing expedition so I must pour calamine lotion all over myself. Anyone want to help?