5-23-2002 | 12:30 a.m.

Don't want to go into huge detail, but here's some of the craziness of the past two weeks:

- I'm going to be an Aunt for the first time! My older brother George (28) is going to be a Dad. And he told me before anyone else in the family. Everyone is thrilled and his girlfriend Heather is one amazing chick. I'm also the only one who's met her yet. Yeah, I'm being all smarmy over here.

- My younger brother, Patrick, turned 13 yesterday. He was thrilled to learn that he shares the same birthday as Mr. T. Damn, I remember changing his (not Mr. T) diapers and him "camping out" with his sleeping bag in my room when we lived in Rye. Patrick received a paintball gun and I grabbed the thing and ran around the yard acting all commando. Rolling on the ground and shooting trees. Yeah, I'm sure I looked like an idiot, but everyone was cracking up. Anything to make him smile.

- My Dad is finally giving his money hungry wife the ax. Sure, the lawyers fees are mega bucks, but at least she won't get a cent.

- One of my closest friends, Dee, whom I have called my "sister" for the past 7 years, wants to have a sex change. She will start taking hormones this summer and insists that we all call her Brian from now on. So, I'll have another brother soon. It'll be difficult adjusting, but it won't change our friendship.

- I cannot start driving lessons (to regain my license) under doctor's orders. My blood sugar level is "dangerously" low. I've been told I'm at risk for seizures. Keeps dropping, so I had a million vials of blood drawn on Monday. It'll be a while before the results come back, and I have no idea what Doc is looking for. I also had a CT scan - and yay my liver, pancreas and whatever other organs are in that area are all cool! I did have to drink a huge frosty mug of banana barium though and I puked up the crap for hours after the test. I hate anything banana flavor and tried holding my nose while drinking it, but then I couldn't breathe. Bleh.

- I've cut back majorly on the booze, well besides a small set-back on Friday. However, I've been taking more Xanax in order to achieve more than 3 hours of sleep per night.

- My bestest bud Shelly is now officially engaged! Her man Charlie is like part of the family already. And (after painful yearbook picture viewing) we discovered that he was a senior at Harrison High while I was a freshman. However, I skipped school to get drunk almost every day and had to repeat grade 9. I always thought Charlie looked kinda familiar. No, I don't live in that town anymore, by the way.

And sugar level be damned, I'm going to spend the weekend with my Dad and we're supposed to go out to dinner with my brother and his girlfriend. Plus time with Shelly and Charlie. I have to visit some of my other buddies too, or I'll get yelled at.

So, yeah have a great weekend. And please, Diary Survivor 3 contestants and judges don't kill each other while I'm gone.