3-5-2002 | 2:53 a.m.

I just have to say: this whole meds issue is screwing with me. I'm at only 50 mg. of Wellbutrin and have added 10 mg. of Celexa to that. I feel so disoriented most of the time. Tremors still at full force. Just out of it. When I log online, I kind of space out just staring at the white blank screens. I have no clue what I'm reading or looking at. Then I look at the clock and 2 hours have passed. And nothing has been accomplished. Emails - ha, takes me way too long to type and I start to ramble. Hopefully this will pass in the next few weeks, once the Wellbutrin is out of my system and the Celexa in (and maybe even helping a bit?)

I'm just impossible to talk to. Everyone says I'm so quiet lately. But no one makes sense. I don't make sense. Which is making me paranoid that people think I'm drinking or going hardcore on the pills again. Well...I'm still on double Xanax dose and have been drinking a few nights a week (blame drunken neighbor Jeff's pressure.) Yes, it's bad. But hey, I'm being honest here. I explained the whole med issue to my Mom and let her know that I might be a bit 'off' for a while. Hopefully she buys it. If not, oh well.

This Diary Survivor 3 contest should be interesting. Amazing contestants and judges. Hopefully I'll be able to keep it together and not screw the whole thing up.

Oh, and....reruns of "The A-Team" kick my ass!

This has been another pointless and boring entry from your spaced out friend Meg.